Transformation & Butterflies.

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“How does one become a butterfly?” she asked pensively.

Orange Butterfly: “You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.” – Trina Paulus

When I received a phone call telling me that my father had committed suicide, I hit the floor—both figuratively and literally. It is devastating news when someone passes, but a suicide is especially hard to deal with.

Thank goodness I can not predict the future, because If I had known in that moment what the next few years had in store for me, I’m sure I would have given up right then and there. Instead, I somehow found the strength and courage to get up off of the floor that day and on the many days following my father’s death. It wasn’t always pretty or consistent, and much of it I did for my children and husband who needed me, but I did get up as much as I was able to.

Grief is such a personal process to go through for each individual. When we get bad news—life altering news—such as finding out about a loved one’s death, there is no way to tell how we will react, but in my experience, we will and do find ways of coping with our loss.

Somehow, we seem to embrace what it is deep inside of each of us that will help us to survive a loss. These tools that we carry at the core of our beings help us to maneuver our way through the unthinkable situations which are put before us in life.

Further, these tools can be used consciously and sometimes unconsciously. But, each and every one of us has an outlet of some sorts. Continue reading